Sunday, April 6, 2014

Three Sticks and One Prick

After a two month break, today is my return to blogging with a little announcement…WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!

How many times did it take before I believed it? Three pee sticks (including a frantic trip up to Walgreens to buy two different brands of pregnancy tests) and one trip to the doctor for the "official" blood test. 
I took this one at 8am
I took this one at 1pm
I took this one at 5pm

After testing three times on Sunday and still not 100% convinced that this wasn't a cruel, I had a blood test done on Monday morning. I was sure I left them my cell # since I was going back to work and needed to know the results as soon as they were ready. Hours passed and still no phone call. By 3pm, I was calling the lab like a maniac only to have to leave messages for the nurse to call me back. By the time I left work, still no call. Did they forget to call me? Did I not give enough blood? Was it bad news and no one wanted to tell me? 

Driving home that evening, I was upset that I didn't hear back from anyone. A bazillion things were going through my head. I soon pulled into the driveway and went into the house…and then I spotted it. THE RED LIGHT WAS BLINKING.

As I ran over and hit the play button, my heart was pounding. And then I heard the words I have waited years to hear…

Congratulations, you are pregnant!

As of today, I am in week #11. Thank you for all the support and well-wishes. Stay tuned for more more "pregnancy experiences." Oh, I've got some good ones too.

Thanks for reading,
Kara

Monday, February 3, 2014

The Week of the Loft Cardigan

I was on a cardigan kick last week:

 Monday
Cardigan: Loft
Cami: Sears
Necklace: Dillard's
 Tuesday
Cardigan: Loft
Blouse: Loft
Necklace: Burlington
 Wednesday
Cardigan: Loft
Blouse: Macy's
Necklace: Burlington
 Thursday
Cardigan: Loft
Blouse: Marshall's
Necklace: Burlington
Friday
Cardigan: Loft
Blouse: Sears
Necklace: Burlington

Thanks for reading,
Kara

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Our Journey to Parenthood: Round 1 Done

First, I wanted to say thank you to all who have read and also commented on this series of blog postings. It is truly appreciated. I started this series with the intention of spreading the message that though you may feel broken, you aren't. You may feel like less of a woman, but you aren't. You may want to punch the famous-for-doing-nothing jerk-off's on TV that make it look soooooo easy, but you can't. Last year was an awful time for my emotions but I feel that I finally have them in check. I still have a few ups and downs but I know I am a good person and will deal with whatever card I am dealt along this journey.

After a lot of thought of how much I should share of this experience on the world wide web, I decided to tell all and not leave anything out (except when I need to clean up some overly graphic details). If even one posting can help someone else out there, then it was all worth it. Hopefully, I can even make a few people laugh along the way!

A close friend referred me to a great Facebook page called "Fertility is the New F-Word" and I took this off the page:

I did my first IUI on Sunday; progesterone started last night. I will need to do some blood work on Sunday to check my progesterone levels and then a prego test 1 week later. Let's hope this worked...

Thanks for reading,
Kara

Monday, January 27, 2014

Our Journey to Parenthood: He Missed the Cup

(WARNING: This can get graphic so if you are easily offended, STOP READING HERE!)

Huh...wait. What? You read correctly; hubby missed the cup.

If you and your partner have ever been through fertility treatments, you know that the accommodations are not always as comfy and cozy as you would hope. Hubby and I were under the impression that there would be a TV, reading/media material, a lounge chair of some sort and an electrical outlet to plug in a laptop if you chose to bring your own "material." That wasn't the case. 

Not. even. close.

Let me set the scene for you: hubby was in the men's room. That's it. A single stall men's bathroom with a poor excuse of a "lounge area" that had a bench. It was some sort of medical bench with a thin sheet of tissue paper that is reminiscent of what you find when you go to the doctor and hop up on the exam table. Sexy...

So, he could either bang one out on the medical bench or the toilet. Choices, choices. It is a difficult, nerve racking and uncomfortable process as it is…give the guys a little comfort huh?! We know you have the money since these treatments cost as much as a new car!

So, no material but thank goodness he brought his laptop with his own material on it. Hubby had been "saving up" for the past 3 days so he was ready to burst. As the time came for the completion of the task, the angle at which he was sitting on the medical bench in conjunction with the circumference of the specimen cup was such that he found himself in a lateral position making it almost impossible to allow gravity to keep the sample in the cup. You get what I'm saying, right?

25% in the cup and 75% on the floor.

As panic entered the room because now he needs to crank out #2, he notices the red flashing light on the laptop indicating he had less than 5 minutes of battery time left. Thank goodness that he had enough material lodged into his long term memory bank that he was able to complete the task after all.

As I heard the garage door open up, out came a tired and defeated looking hubby. I knew something went awry since he was gone way too long. When he told me the story in a far more graphic detail than what I put on this page, I could not help but laugh until I cried…and pee a little.

Thanks for reading,
Kara

p.s. In case you are thinking "I cannot believe she blogged about this", I got permission from hubby to blast this all over the world wide web.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Our Journey to Parenthood: What Color are the Lines?

Today was day #2 for the ovulation sticks…so am I or aren't I ready to ovulate? I would think that reading two lines would be a simple task; it was not. Hubby and I were looking at the stick in the natural light trying to decipher a very complex color question; are the lines the same color? I said "no" but he said "yes." 

After we couldn't agree, he asked "isn't there anything type of test you can take that would give a 100% clear result?" Why yes I thought…the one with the smiley face! Idiot proof. Perfect. I jumped into the car and headed up to Walgreens to make my purchase. Thank goodness I did; we are in the positive!
I called the doctor and we are going in tomorrow for our first attempt at IUI. Hubby just woke up from a long nap in preperation for his "big day" tomorrow…

Thanks for reading,
Kara

Friday, January 24, 2014

Our Journey to Parenthood: Letrozole is done!

Wednesday night was the end of my 5-day Letrozole schedule...come on ovulation!! However, it was almost the prescription that "didn't happen." Here's why:

I dropped off my script at Walgreen's after my appointment on Saturday; I was anxious to get it in my hands so I wouldn't get wrapped up in errands all day and forget to pick it up. The dosage was 2 pills each night for the next 5 nights between 6pm and 8pm. A few minutes after dropping the script off, I get an automated message from Walgreen's that there was an "insurance issue" and the pick up would be delayed. How delayed? I need to start taking these pills tonight.

I am in the middle of Marshall's when I get the call; I put my stuff down and walk outside to call the pharmacy and see what the problem is (I am already operating at a very high level of excitability so I had to check my attitude before I called). Before I could hit the send button, I get another automated message that my script is ready for pick up. Huh? This all took place in the matter of 10 minutes maybe? OK, great. The issue worked itself out. So I thought...

Already forgotten were the super fab bargains I found in Marshall's; I needed to get over to Walgreen's. As I pull up to the drive thru window, I give my name to the pharmacist. She looks at me and says "I am not comfortable giving this to you." Oh my gosh...what now? This is a category X drug...do you have breast cancer?

WHAT THE F*CK? Enter panic mode.

Me: Nope, no breast cancer. I need help ovulating.
Pharmacist: This will hurt the fetus.
Me: I don't have a fetus in there...that is what I am trying to do with these pills but good to know.
Pharmacist: But it will harm a baby. I am not comfortable with dispensing drug this to you.
Me: While I appreciate you attention to detail, I don't have breast cancer. I am trying to force ovulate. I am coming in...

When I get in there, we go over the fact that I DONT HAVE A FETUS GROWING INSIDE ME yet. I now have to call the "on call" service because it is now after hours for the weekend staff and pray they don't charge me the "this wasn't really and emergency so we will now charge you $150 for this call" fee. Thank goodness it was less than 10 minutes when my favorite nurse Michelle called back and explained things to the pharmacist…and me. Letrozole's main use is to treat breast cancer in post-menopausal women by lessening the production of estrogen. Wew, I am off the ledge...for now.

Hopefully, this will do the trick and help me ovulate. One thing that is sitting front and center on my brain is the very real possibility of MULTIPLE eggs being fertilized. Hubby says he wants triplets; I told him he better get a triple job then.

Here's to not peeing on my hands in the employee restroom...

Thanks for reading,
Kara

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Our Journey to Parenthood Begins Here...

Never did I think I would be 39 and not a mother.

Hubs and I experienced a lot of ups and downs in 2013 in regards to our fertility issues. Month after month, nothing but disappointment. There were a few times I thought I think this is it only for it to end in yet another period combined with tears, anger, confusion and resentment. Son of a bitch…what is wrong with me?

Back in December 2012, I had an operation to fix my "problems." After getting the green light and a glowing bill of health, hubs and I decided to try all year long to conceive naturally rather than jump right into IVF. We had done a lot of research and the chances seemed high enough where we could possibly make it happen.

Well, here we are still with no baby. A few weeks ago, we went in for a consultation and after talking things over with the doctor, hubs and I decided to try our first round of IUI.  Odds still seem to be in our favor so we are taking the chance. As with all fertility issues, everything is is based on timing. I now have a chart, ovulation pills and ovulation sticks. Super.

Tonight is night #2 on Letrozole (an ovulation drug). I could use all the prayers you can offer; even the ones to help me to stop peeing on my hand from time to time when using the ovulation sticks. Awesome.

Thanks for reading,
Kara

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Looking Back at 2013

Eh, 2013. I am not sad to see you go. I know I am super late in posting this but it has taken me a little time to put together my thoughts:

Work
2013 was the most difficult and stress filled year of my career. Clients were out of control, vendors simply did not care and lack of direction and support from management was difficult. The upside is the team and I completed a ton of projects, clients were happy and the team became a little closer.

Friends
I have a strong group of friends but earlier in the year, there was one I had to let go. We had been friends for 16 years and the one time I needed her, she wasn't there and told me she couldn't "add anything more to her plate." Words that I will never forget. In hindsight, I made a lot of excuses for her and it was time to call quits on this one-way relationship.

Family
I am so thankful for each and every one of them. My brother-in-law and his family moved back to the United States after being overseas for a very long time. I am getting to spend a ton of time with my new nephew and sister-in-law. My in-laws and parents are awesome. I miss my little brother and his family and wish I could spend more time with them.

Marriage
After 10 years of marriage, I love J more each day. I always tell him "I love you more today than I did yesterday but not as much as tomorrow."

Baby
Nope, still no baby. It was a difficult year of trying with no answer on "why" I am still not pregnant. After a recent visit with the doctor, we are now on a path to becoming parents.

I am looking forward to 2014…I've got a good feeling about this year.

Thanks for reading,
Kara

Monday, December 23, 2013

Company Colors

If you haven't checked out Sam Moon online (unless you live in Texas and can go to the actual store), then you are missing out! I first found out about them a few years ago but put it out of my mind since I don't live in Texas and am not a fan of shopping online. But, last year when I was visiting my brother in Texas, he took me out shopping one afternoon and we came across Sam Moon. I remembered I "heard" about it a few years ago so I wanted to check it out; the idea of floor to ceiling accessories was overwhelming and exciting all at once! 

IT WAS MAGNIFICENT.

Since my visit, I have ordered several pieces of jewelry and handbags from them and I have been happy with each and every one; this necklace was $11 and is the same quality you would find at Banana Republic or LOFT:






Blouse: Kohls | Blazer: Sears | Pants: Macy's | Necklace: Sam Moon | Booties: Just Fab

Sunday, December 15, 2013

The Comforting Canine

His name is Rocky and everybody loves him…which makes him the perfect dog to take to a nursing home. My Nana is 98 years old and has been in a nursing home for the past few years. Like most of the residents, she has her good days and bad days. Luckily, my Nana has family that come and visit her. Sadly, there are quite a few people who don't.

This afternoon, he is on his way to spread some love to those who otherwise don't have anyone else to do so. Rocky isn't too much into car rides but he just sits in the backseat patiently waiting to get to his destination:

 Nana and my Mom posing with Rocky. 
 This woman spotted Rocky from down the hallway. She spent most of our visit petting him softly and telling him what a good boy he is.
 Rocky at the front door making sure that every person who walked by him stopped to check-in!
 Before we knew it, a small crowd had gathered. Some just looked but most wanted to pet!

Until today, I had no idea what an impact Rocky's visit made on everyone (this was his second time). There was a sweet elderly couple (who read the Sunday paper right at the front entrance) who remembered Rocky by name from his last visit; it had been a significant amount of time since he made his last appearance. When my Mom walked him down the hallway to the Bingo room, the number calling stopped and everyone turned to see him and give him a little drink of water. He loved the visit, they loved the visit. Win-win for all.

He soaked it up as only a Golden Retriever would.
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